Naruto News Show: 2008 Election Special
by SSJ2 PikaFlash
Summary: Original Title can't fit. It is time now for the Naruto News Show team to report on the 2008 Japanese Presidential Election. A new President for Japan has been chosen, so what does Naruto and his news team think? Part 2 of 2 is up.
1. PreElection

**Naruto News Show: 2008 Japanese Presidential Election  
**_By PikaFlash and the News Team _

_Part 01 _

Disclaimers: Almost all of the (fake) News Reports and ideas are mine. The Characters and scenes are not.

**Summary: **It is time now for the Naruto News Show team to report on the Japanese Presidential Election. Who will be the new President of Japan? Ash Ketchum or Tai Kamiya. Only Naruto Uzumaki and his Newsteam will decide...

**Presenters:  
**Uzumaki Naruto - Chief Journalist  
Nara Shikamaru - Journalist  
Inuzuka Kiba - Election Know-it-all  
Hyuuga Neji - Computer Nerd

* * *

Naruto, Shikamaru, Kiba and Neji are sitting at a news desk as Neji was wearing earphones, listening to something on his laptop.

"Good evening and welcome to the Naruto News Show Special Coverage on the 2008 Japanese Presidential Election, live from Tokyo in the tally room as we are days away from what promises to be one of the most closely fought battles for votes in the history of Japan," Naruto reports.

"But enough about Japanese Idol," said Shikamaru. "Because this weekend is when Japan will go to the polls, faced with the tough decision to choose between Twerp or Dirt. We got the choice between the Twerpy kid known as Ash Satoshi Ketchum versus Dirty Tai and his Digimon lackeys and I think it will be a fascinating contest."

Kiba nods. "Yes, I think it is as I noticed in this final week, both Presidential candidates have played it safe. Opting to sell their message on Low Quality Fanfiction, right down to the point of being on a Jerry Springer Parody..."

**Jerry Springer Parody: "I hate my political opponent and will do everything to win." **

"Right." Shikamaru looks towards Neji. "Let's have a look at the state of play at this point of the fanfic. Hey, Neji, do we have any sort of figures here?"

Neji looks up from his laptop. "Huh? Oh, give me a sec." Neji removes his earphones. "Sorry, I was bit torrenting the latest episode of Shippuden."

Neji minimizes the video player window on his laptop. "Alright, now if we bring up the tally board, and obviously these are very early figures, since the polls haven't opened yet."

**

* * *

**

**Election 2008 - Seats Won **

**Pokémon - 0  
****Digimon - 0  
****DBZ Party - 0  
****Democrats - 0  
****Americans - 0 **

Neji continues. "Now, if this trend of Zeros continues, this is what the Diet will look like after the election..."

Neji shows off an animated CGI of a bunch of tumbleweeds were rolling around in the empty Diet building in Tokyo.

"Looks like a tough task for Tai Kamiya," said Shikamaru. "But what do you think will happen if Tai would win?"

Neji smiled. "I got just the CGI for that..."

* * *

**Neji's CGI **

An animated CGI of Tai Kamiya is sitting with his Party members.

_Neji: "This is Tai Kamiya, factoring in his ego." _

Tai's head begins to grow large.

_Neji: "And this is what will happen if he becomes President..." _

CGI Tai's head grew to the point that his extremely large head that the weight of his own head could not be held by his body, causing the big-headed Tai to fall backwards, crushing his own CGI party members with that enormous CGI head.

* * *

**Donkey Kong to wed Princess Peach in a Celebrity Wedding **

Naruto nods. "Alright, let's move on to other places." Naruto looks at Neji. "Neji, can we have a look at the Hinata district info?"

"Of course." Neji reveals a map of the Hinata District in Tokyo. "Now, thanks to a local's new partnership program, the Hinata district now looks like this..."

* * *

**Neji's CGI **

A building of a large inn/girls' dorm, a weapons factory, a Pokémon Stadium Dome and a space shuttle appeared on the map of the Hinata District. Then, the dome of the Pokémon Stadium has opened, revealing a missile silo that fires a volley of missiles in various directions.

* * *

"Now, if there is one thing that this election campaign has taught us..." said Naruto. 

"Don't photograph your own penis and instead of your enemy's?" asked Shikamaru.

"Ok, two things that this election campaign has taught us. And I blame Sai on the penis thing," said Naruto. "But it has become clear to us that celebrity candidates won't work at all in Japan. It may work in the US, but not in Japan. Remember Serena Tuskino and her attempt to join the DBZ party 4 years ago?"

* * *

**4 Years Ago - DBZ versus Pokémon Election Campaign **

**Serena Tuskino - Candidate for the DBZ Party **

Serena is at a press conference.

"The thing is that I am doing this for the people. My opponent thinks that he knows a lot about everything while I...haven't got a good grasp of it yet..."

* * *

Kiba shakes his head. "That's typical of someone like Serena. Can't tell the difference between Senshi and Sushi." 

"Well, if you see people like Serena trying to run for office in the Senate, you wonder if the average Japanese person can do a better job," said Naruto. "So to find out if the average Japanese person is cut out for the job, we decided to turn some unsuspecting voters into instant politicians. We did that by secretly taking their names and a covert photograph and filled their local district with personalized campaign material and as it turns out, the ordinary voter seem to have much more appeal...

* * *

**Naruto's Prank...I mean, Experiment **

**Hinata District **

Naruto pastes a campaign poster of Kanako Urashima on a wall.

----------------------

A few seconds later, a random person walks up to Kanako.

"I hear that you're running for the local seat. Congratulations."

Kanako was surprised. "What?"

"There's a campaign poster of you right there," said the random guy.

"You're kidding?" Kanako sees the poster.

"Good luck.

* * *

**West Shinjuku**

At a nearby tea shop, Takato was having lunch with his two friends, Kenta and Kazu when Kenta spots Takato's poster.

"Oh my god, you didn't tell us you're running for a seat in the Parliament," said Kenta.

"Excuse me?"

* * *

**Okinawa**

Naruto sticks a few campaign posters for Mutsumi Otohime on some windows...

----------------------

A random guy walks up to Mutsumi. "Congratulations, buddy, you got my vote."

Mutsumi has no idea what is going on. "Huh?"

At that moment, Naruto leads a group of cameras and journalists to surround Mutsumi.

"How do you think you would win the election this weekend?" asks Naruto.

"What are you going to do about computers in Japanese schools?" asks Tenten.

"Are you going to change the working conditions of Anime Voiceover actors?" Ino asked.

"Sorry, no comment," said Mutsumi.

----------------------

Meanwhile, back in the Hinata district, Naruto's group of journalists and cameramen surround Kanako.

"What are you going to do about interest rates?" asks Lee.

"Will you reduce taxes?" Naruto asked.

Kanako was reluctant to answer that question. "Erm...yes?"

"How much would you reduce it by?" Naruto asked.

"Around 5 percent," said Kanako.

"What's the current tax rate?" Naruto asks.

Kanako is speechless.

"Ok, will you want Vegeta to be the Vice-President again?" Tenten asks.

"No," Kanako answered.

"Why not?"

"Erm..."

"Do you support Ash Ketchum or Tai Kamiya to be President of Japan?"

"Ok, I think this interview is over! Leave me alone!"

* * *

A large moon-like object is orbiting around a planet. Suddenly, the moon-like object fires a Superlaser into the planet, causing it to explode. 

**The Naruto News Death Star **

* * *

A Fox was yawning as it presents... 

**An Uzumaki, ****Nara**** and Inuzuka Production: The Naruto Characters Musical **

Naruto and Hinata were at Ichiraku's Ramen as two Ramen apprentices served the Ramen to both Naruto and Hinata. Naruto tastes his first.

"Ayame-chan! My Ramen is a bit cold," said Naruto.

Hinata tasted her Ramen. "And mine is too hot."

Naruto and Hinata looked at each other.

"But maybe we can work this out together," said Hinata.

**Music starts **

_Naruto (singing): My ramen is a bit too cold, _

_I'm sure it won't taste good. _

_Anyone who has a tongue, _

_Can tell it's done by a noob. _

_Hinata (singing): My ramen is way too hot, _

_Although some say it's a lie. _

_But just one taste and I know, _

_The heat's way too high! _

_Both (singing): But it's not so bad now that we got each other _

_As love will conquer all! _

_Naruto: Mine is Cold _

_Hinata: Mine is Hot _

_Naruto: Mine is Cold _

_Hinata: Mine is Hot! _

_Naruto: Mine is Cold _

_Hinata: Mine is Hot _

_Both: Together we're a perfect match! _

(Short musical intermission)

_Hinata: It makes it hard for me to speak, _

_I fear I may insult my dad. _

_Naruto: This is only good under a desert heat, _

_As a soothing drink real bad. _

Naruto and Hinata started dancing around.

_Both: But it's not so bad that we got each other, _

_As we're the perfect fit! _

_Naruto: Mine is Cold _

_Hinata: Mine is Hot _

_Naruto: Mine is Cold _

_Hinata: Mine is Hot! _

_Naruto: Mine need heat! _

_Hinata: Mine must cool! _

_Naruto: Mine don't taste, _

_Hinata: Nice at all! _

_Both: Together we're a perfect match! _

**Song ends **

Ayame finished listening to the song, suddenly getting an idea. "How about you put your Ramen together and you'll have your Ramen at a just right temperature."

"Good idea, Ayame-chan! Believe it!"

**The End **

* * *

**What have we learned from Fanfiction this chapter? - 2008 edition **

Kiba and Neji are sitting at a desk.

"Last time, we talked about how fanfiction can be the very models of fair and detached writing," said Kiba. "Well, our next lesson this season is on the issue of the SakuIno conflict, though romance is not necessary implied."

"And to represent the two sides of the conflict, we got ourselves a pair of cheap dim-witted dolls," said Neji, picking up two plastic dolls. "With the blonde one representing Ino and the pink-haired one representing Sakura. Now, here's the thing. Sasuke is behind Sakura all the way while Shikamaru puts his support behind Ino, in whatever way possible. It turns out that according to Sasuke, Sakura has serious evidence against Ino. Now prepare yourself from a very startling revelation from a Yamanaka Clan insider..."

----------------------

**Exhibit A **

He said that he was stunned that Sakura Haruno spoke out. Itachi doesn't know her, but he does believe her.

**End Exhibit A **

----------------------

Kiba looked at Neji. "A guy who's never met Sakura?" Kiba takes out a mallet. "You're gone, Yamanaka!" Kiba hits the Ino doll with the mallet.

"Well, it's not who Itachi is," said Neji. "But it's what Itachi said that blows this whole conflict wide open..."

----------------------

**Itachi interview **

Itachi's face was blurred out in an interview.

"I don't know too much about Ino Yamanaka, but the truth about what Sakura said about Ino, is the truth."

**End interview **

----------------------

"Well, tedious is tedious," said Kiba.

"On top of all that evidence, they even put Sakura on a lie detector," explained Neji.

----------------------

**Lie Detector Test **

Sakura was wired up to a lie detector.

----------------------

"Well, that's Sasuke for you. Always wiring up someone to something," said Kiba.

Neji picks up the Ino doll. "But for Ino, a polygraph isn't good enough for her. Sasuke's team savaged Ino with the most foolproof lie detection process ever conceived by man. Reading the body language of someone who is only described in writing when you can't actually see the body."

"To be honest, Neji," said Kiba. "Body language does tell someone what a person actually thinks."

Both Neji and Kiba were scratching their heads with their middle fingers.

"By the way, here's how Body Language Expert Sasuke's Conclusion..."

----------------------

**Body Language Expert Sasuke **

Sasuke was reading a fanfic about Ino.

"She says _'its lies. It's lies.'_ Showing that she's not really on stable ground about what she's saying and believing what she's saying. For example, if Ino was comfortable with what she's saying she would say _'Forehead-Girl'_ as opposed to _'Billboard-Brow'_…"

**End bits and pieces **

----------------------

"Well, wouldn't you **BELIEVE IT**!" said Kiba, emphasizing on the words _'BELIEVE IT!'_

"If anything related to the Naruto dub is considered lying," said Neji. "Then Naruto must be the biggest liar in any dub."

----------------------

**Naruto dub sample **

"I will be Hokage, BELIEVE IT!" screamed Naruto.

**LIAR! **

----------------------

"Well, Sasuke isn't the only one who is a body language expert," adds Neji.

----------------------

**Shikamaru's conclusion... **

Sakura was talking with her eyes moving.

_Narrator: According to Shikamaru, Sakura's sudden eye movements are the giveaway. _

**End Conclusion **

----------------------

Neji takes out his mallet. "You moved your eyes, Haruno!" Neji smacks the Sakura doll with his mallet. "Well, if moving your eyes is a problem, then we all wonder how sincere Hinata is being when she's trying to speak to Naruto."

----------------------

**Hinata's moving Eyes sample **

Hinata was moving her eyes in random directions, trying to avoid eye contact with Naruto.

"Naruto-kun...I-I-I was w-w-wondering that..."

**LIAR! **

----------------------

"Ok, after all that, what is the verdict?" asked Kiba.

Kiba and Neji picked up the Sakura and Ino dolls and ripped their heads off.

"A fanfic focusing on a senseless fight between Sakura and Ino is pretty much a waste of time and space," concluded Neji.

"And also, it gives rise to the appearance of Mary Sues," adds Kiba. "Luckily for us, Akatsuki has demonstrated to us on how they avoid Sues like the plague.

----------------------

**Sue Avoidance Technique 01: The Shark **

_Kiba: "Here's our first Sue Avoidance Technique. Kisame from Akatsuki is being hounded by reporters and cameramen. Unfortunately, because those reporters and cameramen are Sues, mass murder won't work on them. So, let Kisame demonstrate how he can get rid of them." _

Kisame was surrounded by reporters and cameramen. Since the people around him are all Sues, there is no way he can rid them all where he is, so he does the only thing he can do. He walks onto a beach and into the water, where the Sues can't follow. As the Sues tried to pursue Kisame on a boat, a giant Shark suddenly appears, eating everything, Sues and boat.

----------------------

**Sue Avoidance Technique 02: The Cobra **

_Neji: "However, if you can't breathe underwater like Kisame, the better alternative is to follow how Deidara handles his Sues..." _

A Sue was trying to open Deidara's door, but Deidara had to keep his door closed.

"Mr. Deidara! Please open this door. We want to talk to you!"

Suddenly, Deidara slams the door open outward at the Sue's forehead, leaving behind a massive mark on the Sue's forehead.

----------------------

Neji and Kiba watched the previous scene.

"Wow, such bravery," said Kiba.

"Of course. With that, Deidara should deserve a prize," said Neji.

----------------------

**Cake giving ceremony **

Kiba and Neji were outside Deidara's door carrying a large cake.

"Mr. Deidara, we have a carefully balanced cake outside your door," announced Kiba as he knocked on Deidara's door.

"And if you don't make any sudden movements, the cake will be alright," adds Neji.

Suddenly, Deidara opens the door, slamming the large pastry full of cream and icing into Kiba and Neji's faces before closing the door.

"Well, I didn't expect that to happen to us," said Neji.

* * *

Shinobu Maeha was being interviewed. 

"You think if we are choosing a President, it would have been easier if we choose between an apple and a banana. That way, everyone can be happy."

**She Votes! **

* * *

Back with Naruto, Neji, Kiba and Shikamaru at the News Desk. 

"Welcome back to the Naruto News Show Election Coverage," said Naruto. "It has been a big campaign for political extras as the Presidential Candidates are flanked at every press conference with numerous nameless lackeys. Shikamaru, do you think this strategy has been working for the candidates?"

Shikamaru leans on the desk while tapping his pen. "Well, you do know that before the Chunin Exams in the Naruto Anime, we had no idea who are the Hokage's lackeys, so I am inclined to say that the _'background extras'_, as you called them, could work in the favor of the candidates. And with more info on the background extras at a press conference, let's cross live to Sasuke Uchiha in Tokyo..."

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha in ****Tokyo**

As Tai Kamiya is giving a press conference, Sasuke is reporting in the background while standing next to Vice-Presidential candidate, Mimi Tachikawa, who is watching Tai.

"As you can see, it's **_'Wear the Same Color Pants as Your Hair'_** Day with the Digimon Party. But what's really bothering Mimi Tachikawa is that she is obsessed with Tai's hair. She can't stop looking at Tai's hair."

_Shikamaru: "Ok, Sasuke, could you go around and tell us exactly where it is that Mimi is looking at?" _

Sasuke nods. "Give me a sec."

Sasuke ducks and sneaks around towards Tai's other side. "I think it's right..." Tai suddenly pokes Sasuke in the eye. "Owwww! My eye!" screamed Sasuke as he fell to the floor, rolling around in pain.

* * *

"Sorry, we seem to have a technical problem with Sasuke at the moment," said Shikamaru. "We might have to come back to him later. Anyway, we should be able to get a look at the latest poll. Neji?" 

Neji is on Facebook, editing his profile.

**Neji Hyuuga is sooooooo much better than Naruto Uzumaki **

Neji looks up. "Oh, sorry, I was updating my Facebook."

Shikamaru, Naruto and Kiba sighed. "Neji, can we focus on the election right now?" Naruto asks.

"Come on, guys. This is work-related, thank you," said Neji. "It is because of Facebook that I know that Tai Kamiya's current status **_'is making a joke about his big fluffy hair.'_**"

"I see," said Naruto.

Neji continues. "Facebook is very useful, like Digimon Party Member Junpei's status **_'is a big fat so and so'_**. And according to this, the Pokémon Party's James Kojiro Stuart **_'is definitely NOT gay'_**."

"Facebook is an absolute joke," said Shikamaru. "I saw that Presidential Candidates Tai Kamiya and Ash Ketchum have put each other as Friends and that doesn't say much."

"Well, now that you mention it," said Neji. "This is how the Senate looks at the moment..."

* * *

**Neji's CGI **

_Neji: "And here's how it look in a dream that Tai had last night." _

In a CGI of the Senate Chamber, CGI Ash is addressing the Senate when CGI Tai suddenly runs from his side of the room with a knife and started stabbing Ash. Then, as homage to the Shakespearean Play, Julius Caesar, Ash's Vice-Presidential candidate, Gary Shigeru Oak suddenly stabs Ash from behind.

_Naruto: "Et tu, Shigeru?" _

* * *

**Hinata Girls Dorm ****Hot Springs**** - The Naruto News Show Disrobes **

* * *

Naruto and Kiba are standing in a white room, with Naruto and Kiba wearing their Shippuden outfits. 

"Hello, I'm a Digimon Tamer," greeted Kiba.

"And I'm a Pokémon Trainer," said Naruto. "And I am committed to offering tax cuts for monster tamers."

"Me too," said Kiba.

Naruto continues. "And offering benefits to local Ninjas."

Kiba nods. "Yeah, me too."

"And having a backstabbing Vice-President," said Naruto.

"Yep, same again," said Kiba, raising his hand.

Naruto crosses his arms. "Well, I like eating babies' heads."

"I'm happy to give it a try," said Kiba.

Naruto is extremely displeased. "And I hate people who says, _'Me too'_!"

"Yeah, me too," said Kiba.

"And I like to wear orange outfits," said Naruto.

"Yeah me..." Kiba notices that he is wearing an all black outfit instead of an orange and black jacket and pants. "Give me a sec."

Kiba walks off, only to return a second later, wearing Naruto's Shippuden outfit. "And I'm happy to change my name to Naruto too, if that will help," Kiba adds.

**iCopy: Takes One to Know One... **

Naruto sighed and shook his head as Kiba does his best Naruto impression. "Believe it!"

* * *

Seto Kaiba is evilly laughing as he beats another weak and pathetic duelist in Duel Monsters. 

**He Votes! **

* * *

**The World According to Nintendo **

In the background, Rock Lee is posing in front of a large mirror, to see how much of his _'Youth'_ is showing through his green bodysuit as Naruto, Shikamaru, Kiba and Neji continue their coverage of the 2008 Japanese Presidential Election.

"Unfortunately, we don't live in a world where we get exciting news because we're Shinobis," explained Kiba. "So, we thought we'd bring you a taste of what you could be missing. Thanks to a game console called the Nintendo Wii, we were able to get access to the new Nintendo Wii News Channel."

"And the best person who could anchor Nintendo Wii News is the Geraldo Rivera of **Wii News**, Mario Mario," said Naruto.

"Now, just hear Super Mario's calm and balanced views on this man's death sentence," said Kiba.

----------------------

**Nintendo Wii News: Team Rocket Leader Death Sentence **

Giovanni is standing in a court room.

_Mario (Stereotypical Italian Accent): "Mamma mia! You got to look at this guy and say that the death penalty is not enough! You need to give him the poison mushroom to shrink him, and then jump on top of him! Or shoot fireballs at him and hope that he will burn like Pizza pie! That will make him suffer..." _

**End Segment **

----------------------

Naruto nods at Mario's views. "And Nintendo has an incredible line of presenters," said Naruto. "So, when one of their presenters is sick, they can only be replaced by the _cremé de la Cremé_..."

----------------------

**Nintendo Wii News: Gary Oak **

Gary: "Hi, I'm Gary Oak, standing in for Luigi Mario."

**End Segment **

----------------------

"Yep," said Kiba. " Gary _'Newsboy'_ Oak. But in all honesty, Gary has an impressive news background as a journalist. Did you see the way he handled the Chief Executive Officer of Viz Media during the One Piece Scandal?"

----------------------

**Gary****'s Report **

Gary looked behind towards a car with an injured business man holding a machine gun. Gary keeps eye contact with the businessman. Suddenly, Gary's Nidoking fired a Hyper Beam at the car, obliterating the car and killing the businessman.

**Naruto News Show **

Back to Shikamaru at the news desk.

"Gary Oak reporting," said Shikamaru.

----------------------

Naruto applauded the report. "Bravo, Gary. Bravo. And Gary took to hosting on Nintendo like a Psyduck to water."

----------------------

**Nintendo Wii News **

A Digimon was being interviewed.

Digimon: "I really wish we have an answer to all our problems, but I don't."

Silence...

Gary realized that he must say something.

Gary: "Ok, let's check in with Princess Peach."

**End Segment **

----------------------

"Brilliant," said Kiba. "And one thing you may have noticed is the use of Script Format in an attempt to distract you from people like Gary Oak doing the Wii News."

"Sounds good to us," said Naruto as he snaps his fingers, causing everything the fanfic to change into script format.

----------------------

**Naruto News Show Channel: Sure brings back some memories to me. **

Naruto: "So, Kiba, what's the World According to Nintendo this chapter?"

Kiba: "Well, the news this week, Naruto, like last week and the many weeks before is the Death of Asuma."

**Asuma Feeding Frenzy: Oh crap, won't you let Asuma rest in peace? **

Naruto: "Well, to those who are not from around here or aren't fans of Naruto would simply have heard that Asuma died. But only Nintendo took you on a tour of Asuma's house."

Kiba: "Not just the house, but every appliance in it."

----------------------

**Nintendo Wii News **

Mario is at his desk.

Mario (Stereotypical Italian Accent): "In a few moments, we will be a-showing you a-refrigerator in that house."

**End Segment **

----------------------

**Naruto News Show **

Both Naruto and Kiba nod.

Kiba: "And Mario did show us that fridge. Or should we say..."

**Death Fridge! Next up: Hidan's Toaster **

Kiba: We've been inside Asuma's House and had an examination of his fridge. And you don't unearth real news like that without the help of an army of highly trained experts. And Nintendo have ways of bringing you the people who are important to the story.

Naruto: "Case in point, Ninja Expert and Pokémon Trainer, Koga.

**Bet you didn't notice this here. **

Naruto: "Sure, Asuma's fridge could be full if important reasons why he died at Hidan's hands, but the issue Nintendo really nailed was why Pokémon Candies were in Asuma's fridge."

----------------------

**Nintendo Wii News **

Gary was interviewing Brock.

Gary: How was it for you when inside of Asuma's refrigerator had a few Pokémon Candies even though he was killed by some crazy immortal?

Brock: Initially, when we saw that, we had some concern. I made a few phone calls and I got a message from Asuma's wife that the Pokémon Candies were planted.

**End Segment **

----------------------

**Naruto News Show: Planted Pokémon **

Naruto: "There you have it! News story over! The Pokémon Candy was planted."

**The Big Question: What would TokyoTV think of all this? **

Kiba: "Of course, Nintendo did being in a fully qualified expert. Tsunade herself was being interviewed after she did her autopsy. And they treated Tsunade with the respect she deserves."

----------------------

**Nintendo Wii News **

Tsunade: "It is not correct that he died like his father. In other words, there are not really much similarity between the two deaths...

Gary: "Ok, we will leave you there."

Tsunade: "One of them was an old person and the other younger..."

Gary: "Sorry, we're out of time. We have to leave you there."

Tsunade: "The older person..."

Tsunade was suddenly cut off.

**End Segment **

----------------------

**Naruto News Show: Even we think Tsunade should be called an old lady **

Naruto: "Oh shut up, Tsunade-baachan and stop being an expert!"

Kiba: "At the end of the day, we are just a couple of two bit wise guys, so for a real analysis of Nintendo, we're joined here by TokyoTV's Media Analyst, Pikachu. Pikachu, welcome to the show, what do you make of Nintendo?"

Pikachu: "Thank you, Kiba. I think..."

Kiba: "Well, we're out of time and that's the World According to Nintendo."

* * *

Japanese presidential Candidate Tai Kamiya is at a press conference in Kyoto. 

"If I am elected as your president, I will commit 5 billion yen worth of..."

**He steals! **

* * *

Back to the news desk, Neji is finished with a conversation on the phone. "Guys, I got an update on the Tokyo-3 district. Rei Ayanami, the candidate holding Tokyo-3 has been ousted by the Digimons and replaced by former Noodle salesman, Daisuke Motomiya."

* * *

**[Neji's CGI Map of Tokyo-3 District **

A CGI Daisuke is parachuting into Tokyo-3, but a sudden gust of wind sends the CGI Daisuke all the way to a CGI Konoha with a CGI noodle shop.

_Neji: "Now, the Digimons opted to parachute in Daisuke, only for him to drift away from the district and land all the way at a Noodle shop in Konoha." _

* * *

"You think the voters will be happy if Daisuke doesn't live in the same district as the voters?" asked Naruto. 

Neji looks at Naruto. "Have you met Daisuke? The voters will be very happy that he lives nowhere near them."

"You got a point." Naruto said nodding. "Anyway, back to the election. Doesn't anyone ever wonder if it is easy to buy people's votes?"

Shikamaru looks at the camera. "Sasuke Uchiha takes to the streets of Tokyo to find out."

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha in ****Tokyo**

Sasuke walks up to Construction Worker Keitaro Urashima.

"Do you mind if I ask who you are voting for?" asks Sasuke.

"The Digimons," answers Keitaro.

Sasuke nods. "I see. But we're actually from the Pokémon Party and people wearing glasses have been telling us that they have been hurting by this economy. They say that while the economy has been doing well, the glasses-wearing people are being left behind. So, we at the Pokémon party have offered a _'People Wearing Glasses'_ Bonus. For every glasses-wearing people voting for the Pokémons, we will give them **US$100**. So, will you vote for the Pokémons, sir?"

Keitaro nods. "Certainly."

Sasuke gives Keitaro the money.

* * *

"Well, there you have it," said Naruto. "It is easy to buy votes." 

"Oh shit!" cursed Neji as he looks at his computer.

"What's the matter, Neji?" Kiba asks.

Neji gritted his teeth. "I've been attacked on Facebook by a freaking vampire."

* * *

**On Neji's facebook: **

**_Neji Hyuga _**was attacked by a Vampire**_. Neji _**was attacked by a**_ Yamato Ishida _**vampire.**_ Neji _**is now a soldier in **_Yamato Ishida's Vampire Army. _**Click here to attack other vampires and score points for your Demonic Master. _Mwah ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..._

* * *

"Err...no, that's not a vampire. That's Yamato Ishida at a press conference," said Shikamaru. 

"Now that's even worst!" screamed Neji.

Shikamaru looks at the camera. "Well, that's all we have for episode 1 of the Japanese Presidential Election Coverage. Kari Kamiya and Tracey Sketchit will be sitting on these chairs on Election Night, but please join us in Episode 2 for the full Election Wrap-up."

Kiba nods. "And remember, _'Vote Early, Vote Often. Just don't vote Sailor Moon.'_ Until next time..."


	2. PostElection

**Naruto News Show: 2008 Japanese Presidential Election**

_By PikaFlash And the News Team_

**Part 02**

Disclaimers: Almost all of the (fake) News Reports and ideas are mine. The Characters and scenes are not.

**Summary: **It is time now for the Naruto News Show team to report on the Japanese Presidential Election. Now that the President has been decided, what will life be like after the election of a new president?

**Presenters:  
**Uzumaki Naruto - Chief Journalist  
Nara Shikamaru - Journalist  
Inuzuka Kiba - Election Expert to the Anime Characters  
Hyuuga Neji - IT Support

* * *

Naruto, Shikamaru, Kiba and Neji are sitting at a news desk while in the background; Konoha Shinobis were attaching a rope to a statue of President Goku pointing downwards.

"Good evening and welcome to the Naruto News Show Special Coverage on the 2008 Japanese Presidential Election live from Tokyo in the tally room. If you have just joined us, we are now looking back at how Japan voted for their country to be ruled by a PokéManiac," reports Naruto.

Shikamaru nods. "Yes. I'm sure the Japanese people believed that Taichi Kamiya is too honest and not corrupt enough, which makes President Ketchum's victory all the more sweeter."

Neji opens his laptop. "Of course, it was a big swing to Ketchum on Election Day, but after Ash's Victory speech, everyone wish they had voted for the other guy."

"That was a terrible speech," said Kiba. "If everyone heard that speech the night before, it would have been President Kamiya instead of Ketchum."

In the background, the Konoha Shinobis pulled the rope, forcing the statue of President Goku to topple over.

"And of course, the most important district in the election for the Digimons is the Odaiba district," said Shikamaru. "Do you have that, Neji?"

"Of course." Neji switches to his CGI images...

* * *

**[Neji's CGI map of Odaiba]**

The Map of Odaiba appears on Neji's laptop.

_Neji: "Of course, the Odaiba district was the Digimon's safe seat. Until some recent boundary changes affected the voting process."_

The CGI map of Odaiba transforms into a PokéBall.

_Naruto: "And when that happened, it was clear that the Pokémons have won. What about the Digi-World?"_

**[Neji's CGI map of the DigiWorld.]**

The Map of the Digi-world replaces the new Odaiba map.

_Naruto: "What do you think, Neji? Was it a safe seat to begin with?"_

_Neji: "Well, not if you're living in it?"_

An explosion occurred on the Digi-World Map, declaring the Digi-World's status as Unsafe.

_Shikamaru: Well, as tempting as it must have been, I think that Brock Harrison was right to turn down that diplomatic posting there._

* * *

In the streets of Tokyo, Asuka Soryu Langley was being interviewed.

"Yeah, I could vote for whatever Pikachu that sits in a car and let him do whatever he wants with our Taxes..."

**[This Character Voted!]**

* * *

**[What have we learned from Fanfiction this chapter? - 2008 edition]**

Kiba and Neji are sitting at the desk.

Neji starts off the segment. "Before we go onto our lesson, one of the most important parts of a fanfic is the plot and blaming someone for the plot to happen." Neji looks at Kiba. "Kiba, remember the Sound Invasion a few years back? Who do you think is to blame?"

Kiba gives a bit of thought to the question. "Erm...Orochimaru?

Neji scoffs at the answer. "Nope, you got it all wrong. There are more people to blame than that," said Neji. "You got to learn from the master of blame, Kankuro."

-------

**[Kankuro's interview]**

Shino was talking to Kankuro. "So, who is to blame?" asked Shino.

Kankuro begins his list of people to blame. "Well, first, anyone who throws the first punch."

**[1. Punchers]**

"People who yell abusive insults are to blame."

**[2. Abusers]**

"Importantly, they themselves are to blame."

**[3. Themselves]**

"Their parents are to blame."

**[4. Parents]**

"Even village leaders are to blame.

**[5. Village Leaders]**

"And pretty much everyone else is also to blame.

**[6. Everyone]**

-------

"Well, damn you, Everyone!" cursed Neji. "You should be ashamed of yourselves."

"But what Kankuro described are in fact, what we call the classic _**'OCs from Hell'**_," said Kiba. "And all fanfics must get all the Hellish OCs they can get in order to overrun the Sue fics, after losing out by 14 to 1."

**[FF(dot)Net Tally: Sues Vs. OCs from Hell]  
Sues: 14  
OCs from Hell: 1**

"But not to worry, as the tally for Mindless Naruto Fluff beats them all at 400 Fluff fics," said Neji.

**Naruto Fluff Fics: 400**

"Now, on to today's lesson," said Neji-sensei. "The one thing that everyone has involved in fanfiction in common from the target character, to the author, to the readers is Humiliation."

**[This Chapter's Lesson: Humiliation]**

"Take for instance, Sakura Haruno," said Kiba. "In one fanfic, she decides to sleep in bed without clothes because it was a hot night. The next day, her entire wardrobe of clothes was stolen and her only available pieces of cloth on her bed were soaked due to water sprinklers turning on in her apartment. So, grabbing the only dignified thing that could cover her modesty, which happens to be a Shower Curtain, Sakura begins a rampage in the streets of Konoha, craving for blood."

"Now, this is what Sakura has to say after the fanfic..."

-----

**[Sakura's statement]**

_Sakura: "It was probably the most humiliating time of my life."_

-----

"What? Running around Konoha wearing only a shower curtain or being seen doing that in a fanfic?" Kiba asked rhetorically.

Neji nods. "Well, why go though the trouble of humiliating someone when you can make them do it themselves? Take Naruto for example. He had to go through a terrible ordeal waiting outside an emergency room for hours wearing only his underwear. Here's a fanfic trying to help Naruto get over his shame in a form of a flashback..."

-----

**[Naruto and Sasuke at Ichiraku's]**

"I was only dressed in a pair of boxers in the waiting room," said Naruto.

"That must have felt great," said Sasuke.

"It's kinda like the most embarrassing time of my life," Naruto replied. "It felt so demoralizing."

**[Flashback]**

Naruto was sitting outside the emergency room while only in his boxers and everyone who walked past gave an odd stare at him.

-----

"And now, 20 thousand Naruto fans have now seen you in your underwear outside an emergency room," said Kiba. "And one can never be too young to be humiliated, Neji."

"Meowth, That's right," said Neji.

"Here's the most tactful way young Hanabi finds out for the first time that her father doesn't love her anymore..."

-----

Shino was talking to Hinata and Hanabi at Ichiraku's Ramen.

"Hinata...have you thought about how hard it is going to be to tell Hanabi that...your father doesn't love her and doesn't want her?" asked Shino.

Hanabi suddenly runs off crying while Hinata struggles to answer Shino's question. "Well...how do you tell your little sis that our father doesn't love them anymore?"

-----

Both Kiba and Neji rub their chins. "How do you tell her?" mused Neji.

Kiba shrugs.

"You simply ask Shino to bluntly ask the question and do it for you," explained Neji.

"And if you like Shino to tell someone near and dear to you that their entire self worth is nothing more than a lie, simply make Shino do it in a fanfic you're writing," announced Kiba. "That bastard..."

"I feel sorry for those people," said Neji. "I can't think of anything worst or more humiliating than that."

"Really?" said Kiba. "I can think of one."

**[Kiba's Imagination]**

Kiba was tied to a leash while being pushed into a bowl of dog food by Neji. Neji picks up whip and whips Kiba from behind. Did we mention that both Neji and Kiba have their shirts off in the middle of Konoha?

Anyway, Neji takes a bunch of crabsticks, puts them in his mouth, and attempts to use feed Kiba with the food in Neji's mouth.

Kiba spits out the food. "I give up! You humiliated me! You win, Neji."

---

"See, that is more humiliating," said Kiba.

"I agree," said Neji. "Especially when I call this pay back for humiliating me last season. Anyway with some fanfics bring out this form of misery, we have found ways of avoiding such a hassle. "

-----

**[Naruto News Show]**

Shino was giving his point of view to Tenten at the news room.

"The reason why we stopped bullying Ino is because she has a baby. And common sense dictates that you must not bully a mother with her baby."

-----

"A...baby?" asked Kiba. "Is that all it takes to shield yourself from getting authors trying to beat you up?"

Neji nods. "Yes and we thought this info would be very useful for the type of people Fanfic authors usually target."

-----------------

**[Blue-Haired Anime Characters]**

Hinata was walking in the streets of Konoha when Kiba and Neji ran up to her with a baby doll.

"Hinata-sama!" yelled Neji. "An author is on his way here!"

"You need this baby!" Kiba gives Hinata the baby doll. "Good luck!"

**[Safe!]**

-----

**[Pokémons]**

A Pikachu has his own shop in Konoha with a lucky Meowth statue at the counter. Neji and Kiba quickly appeared.

"This Lucky Meowth statue won't save you," said Neji.

"But this baby will," said Kiba, replacing the Meowth statue with the baby doll.

**[Safe!]**

-----

**[Fatties]**

Choji was having some ice cream.

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

Kiba and Neji suddenly appeared, with Kiba slapping the coned deserted off Choji's hands.

"Take this instead!" said Neji, carrying the baby doll.

**[Safe!]**

-----

**[Foreign Cartoon Characters]**

Kim Possible was standing outside the American Embassy in Tokyo.

"Look! An American Cartoon Character!" screamed Kiba.

"Catch!" Neji tossed the baby doll to Kim, but Kim was wondering why she received a baby doll from a couple of Anime Characters.

**[Safe!]**

-----

**[Akatsuki's Kitchen Germs]**

Kiba and Neji runs up to Akatsuki's Kitchen Sink with the baby doll. "Beware my microbe friends! Naruto is on the loose!" yelled Kiba.

"Save yourselves!" Kiba quickly rubs the baby doll on the kitchen sink.

**[Safe!]**

-----

Thanks to one baby doll, the World is now Safe.

* * *

A Fox was yawning as it presents...

**[An Uzumaki, Nara and Inuzuka Production: The Naruto Characters Musical]**

Neji was at a Weapons Shop with various warriors queuing up with their purchases.

"Here's the thing. I'm in search for an elegant weapons set that I'm giving to my wife as an anniversary gift, but I'm missing one small thing. Maybe you could help me."

**[Music Starts]**

Neji (singing): _I got some shurikens, my wife always throws,  
I got some Kunais, Explosive tags and some nice arrows.  
I got a sword, I got a spear and a hatchet.  
But the one thing I lack is a war mallet..._

Neji takes out two small mallets.

Neji: _I want her to go,  
Pound-a-di, pound, pound, pound,  
Tap tap tap,  
Smack-a-di, smack, smack, smack,  
Tap tap tap,  
Bang-a-di, bang bang,  
Cracking some skulls,  
Tap-a-di tap tap tap. Let's tap!_

Neji begins to tap dance as the other customers stared at the dancing Neji.

Neji: _I don't want anything else,  
No bisentos or the like,  
No more polearms  
Perhaps maybe a pike.  
I don't want to be my wife's target  
The only thing I need is a..._

Neji looks at the shopkeeper.

"Mallet." finished the shopkeeper, ending the song.

**[Song ends]**

"Thank you," said Neji as he finishes his purchase.

**[The End]**

* * *

Back in the studio, a couple of Digimon terrorists were answering phones at a desk in front of Naruto, Kiba, Neji and Shikamaru.

"Welcome back as we review the Japanese Presidential Elections," said Shikamaru.

"One of the most important districts to talk about is Shinjuku," said Naruto. "You got some data on Shinjuku, Neji?"

Neji nods. "Of course. Now, if I bring up the district of Shinjuku."

* * *

**[Neji's CGI Map of Shinjuku]**

_Neji: "It's a very safe Digimon seat...until a regrettable flyer flyover by Takuya Kanbara was the result of a bit of miscommunication, causing a massive swing over to the Pokémons."_

A plane is flying over CGI map of Shinjuku. Instead of dropping flyers, bombs were dropped over the district, causing massive explosions and destroying city buildings.

* * *

Sasuke is sitting next to Neji.

"Sasuke Uchiha, what are your thoughts on the election?" asks Shikamaru.

"Well, I can say that there are many voters who don't want to vote," said Sasuke. "But what they really don't like are those volunteers who hand out those_ 'how to vote' _flyers. Too bad some didn't choose to take my advice the last time that happened."

**[Flashback: Last time that happened] **

Sasuke puts on a crash helmet and climbs into the cannon. "Fire!"

The cannon fired Sasuke straight at the building, but to Sasuke's horror, he was off target, crashing straight into a wall. But at least he got past those annoying volunteers.

* * *

"This time, I am offering all new solutions," said Sasuke.

* * *

**[Sasuke Uchiha's Beat the Flyer Challenge]**

**[Attempt 1: Ninja Stealth]**

_Sasuke: "First, I am using the basic techniques of stealth used by Konoha Shinobis."_

Sasuke was dressed up in ANBU attire (mask included), sneaking towards the voting booth. He tries to sneak past the volunteers. However, he gets ambushed by Shinobi volunteers trying to give Sasuke flyers.

"Vote Digimon!"

"Dammit!" screamed Sasuke. He pulls out a couple of Kunais, but one volunteer forcefully stabs a flyer onto Sasuke's Kunais.

**[Fail!]**

* * *

**[Attempt 2: Stilts]**

_Sasuke: "Next, I will employ the saying,_ 'If Stealth Don't Work, use Stilts'_ because if they can't reach me, they can't give me a flyer."_

Sasuke was wearing stilts, making him taller than the flyer volunteers.

"Sorry, wish I can take a flyer, but I can't reach you guys." Sasuke tries to make his way to the voting booth, only to be obstructed by a few volunteers who happened to be wearing stilts.

"Oh crap!" The volunteers on stilts gave Sasuke their flyers.

**[Fail!]**

* * *

**[Attempt 3: Fire]**

_Sasuke: "Finally, I decided to turn up the heat."_

As volunteers were handing out flyers, Sasuke Uchiha calmly walks towards the voting booths. What's different this time is that he is wearing a burning jacket.

"Alright, guys. Give me a flyer!" taunted Sasuke. The volunteers attempted to give Sasuke their flyers but the burning jacket set the flyers alight. However, things began to get too hot for Sasuke. "Oh man, it's burning me! Help!"

A volunteer quickly takes a fire extinguisher and extinguishes Sasuke's burning jacket. However, with Sasuke's only protection against the flyers is gone, Sasuke is left exposed to volunteers handing flyers to Sasuke.

"Vote Pokémon!" screamed a volunteer.

"Foiled again!" yelled Sasuke.

**[Fail!]**

* * *

**[The Naruto News Show: PikaFlash's Second-favorite source of Sasuke jokes]**

* * *

In the streets of Tokyo, Anzu Mazaki is being interviewed.

"I was scared of the Digimons coming in and what they are going to do to us. I think voting sucks, especially if you don't know anything about it..."

**[This Character Voted]**

* * *

**[The World According to Nintendo: 2]**

Naruto and Kiba are at a desk, doing this segment in script format.

Naruto: "Now, it is a great honor for us to be talking about Nintendo. In fact, this is the future of Console Gaming. In fact, there are more **Wii** consoles sold in America than its **XBOX360** or **PS3** opponents put together."

Kiba: "And not to mention that when Nintendo Wii News."

**[Now this is a fanfic: This fanfic is way provides better news than CNN]**

Kiba: "And Nintendo was able to get the finest mathematicians to crunch the numbers on who is Japan's favorite Pokémon Candidate."

**[Poll: Strongest Pokémon Party Candidate]  
**Kastumoto Satoshi - 56 Percent**  
**Ookaido Shigeru - 48 Percent**  
**Yuri Haruka - 46 Percent

---------------------

Naruto: "I have no idea that **150 percent** of Japanese people had voted in the Presidential election."

Kiba: "Yes. And all those figures are set up by TokyoTV's Statistics Department."

---------------------

**[TokyoTV's Statistics Department]**

A Pikachu was working on a calculator while other Pokémons were throwing darts at portraits of Digimon characters...

---------------------

**[Statistics you can count on: 150 Percent of TokyoTV's Polls are Correct]**

Kiba: "But now it is our pleasure to introduce the King of Nintendo...its star mascot, the legendary Link of Hyrule.

**[Link: Puts the "don't" in Nintendo]**

Naruto: "Every night on Nintendo Wii News, a whole army of guests appear on the Link Factor. Everyone talk on his show about every topic under the sun and the whole show is driven by Link's central philosophy..."

---------------------

**[Nintendo Wii News: The Link Factor]**

Link: "Look, anyone who has a problem with the Factor are welcome to come on the show and tell me the problem and they'll be treated respectfully."

---------------------

Kiba: "Well, Link treats them 'respectfully'. Like this:"

---------------------

**[Nintendo Wii News: The Link Factor]**

Link and Mario were sitting at a desk in an argument.

Mario: "Mamma mia! It is not like..."

Link: "HE DOESN'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE HERE!"

Mario: "He committed a felony under Nintendo Standards!"

Link: "HE DOESN'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE PART OF NINTENDO!"

Mario: "But that has nothing to do with the fact that he was made by a third party publisher!"

Link: "YES IT DOES!"

Mario: "HE WAS A DRUNK!"

Link: "HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN BANNED, BUT THE NINTENDO WATCHDOG DIDN'T DO A THING!"

---------------------

**[June 5]**

Link and Mario were in another argument.

Link: "YOU WANT ANARCHY!"

Mario: "It has nothing to do with the watchdog!"

Link: "YOU WANT ANARCHY! YOU WANT ANARCHY LIKE IN MY GAME: LEGEND OF ZELDA!"

Mario: "What I want is fairness."

Link: "FAIRNESS IS (CENSORED)!"

---------------------

**[Who says that Smash Bros. is the only way to get Link and Mario to fight each other...]**

Kiba: "Now that is fairly loud. Now Link is getting too loud that Nintendo are thinking of replacing Link with someone a bit more quiet and soothing."

---------------------

**[The New Link Factor on Nintendo Wii News]**

Mario was losing a yelling argument against Naruto who was using a jackhammer on the floor, deafening Mario's argument.

---------------------

**[Missed Opportunity: Wouldn't someone yell about Mario's Italian accent?]**

Naruto: "Of course, having the loudest voice in the Gaming World isn't enough to overpower your guest, so that's when Link resorts to plan B."

---------------------

**[Nintendo Wii News: The Link Factor]**

Link was in an interview with Kim Possible in another area...

Kim: "That's what I spent..."

Link: "Sorry, not listening."

Kim: "...of my life trying to..."

Link: "You know what happened to you?"

Kim: "I have risked my life to protect this country and all I get is..."

Link: "Somewhere along the line, you started to dislike your own country. Cut her mike off. Goodbye."

Kim's mike was silenced, so Link could speak uninterrupted as Kim continues her protest.

Link: "For that, I'm glad she came on. I wanted you to see the so-called _'World Saving Hero'_."

---------------------

**[Silence is Golden: If only we could shut up that Wobbuffet]**

Kiba: "Link isn't just respectful to his guests, he is also respectful to abused Pokémon. Do you remember the case of the Charmander that was kidnapped and he was so badly abused for four years before the Charmander finally escaped."

**[Oh Dear: I hope Naruto isn't about to make a joke about Pokémon abuse]**

Naruto: "Now most people think that an abused Pokémon would be deserving of Sympathy, but Link, he has his own _'theory'_..."

---------------------

**[Nintendo Wii News: The Link Factor]**

Link: In my point of view, looking into the situation, I see it as that this Charmander had a lot more fun than what he had in the wild. It didn't have to go into cruel barbaric battles, run around and do whatever it wants. And I think that when it all comes down, what's going to happen is that, there was an element here that this Charmander liked about his circumstance."

---------------------

Kiba: "Yes, Link knows what Pokémon want. In fact, he even opened up his own Pokémon Day Care Center..."

---------------------

**[Advertisement:]**

"Attention Pokémon Trainers! Want to train your Pokémon without doing all the work? Then come to Link's Day Care! As Link himself says..."

_Link: "It didn't have to go into cruel barbaric battles, run around and do whatever it wants."_

"Our friendly staff is more fun than your trainers..."

A Pokémon trainer was holding a whip.

"Stay for four years and receive a lifetime of Psychological Harm!"

* * *

Kabuto is punching himself in the face.

**[The Naruto News Show]**

* * *

**[Naruto News Show Special: Kari Kamiya on FOX News - The Japanese Presidential Elections]**

**[Live from America]**

Kari sits on a chair in a park in Odaiba. "Konnichiwa America. I'm Kari Kamiya from Japan, home of a wide range of exports, from Pokémons to Digital Monsters. It's time for me to give you a quick lesson on Japan's Political System right now..."

---------------------

A bunch of Digimons are voting...

_Kari: "Right now, Japan's system of government is now similar to the US. We too have voting, and like your votes, they won't get counted."_

---------------------

Kari stands on the roof of the local TV station. "And we also have two parties like yours."

---------------------

Tai Kamiya is waving to his supporters.

_Kari: "The Digimon Party is like your Republican Party."_

---------------------

Ash Ketchum is waving at his supporters.

_Kari: "While the Pokémon Party is like your Republican Party."_

---------------------

Kari nods as she stands near the Odaiba bridge. "And like your system, our Head of Government concentrates on what is best for America. But there is a big difference. Your Head of State runs the whole World, while our head of state simply exports quality Japanese Anime to be butchered by American Dubbing Companies like 4Kids and Viz Media."

---------------------

Ash Ketchum is at his victory press conference for winning the election.

_Kari: "The good news for you is that Ash Ketchum is now our President for 4 years, meaning that you won't have to worry about the Digimon Menace, enjoy a fair supply of Japanese Anime for you to butcher and ensure that we will enjoy your local blockbusters as they get a fair screening at our cinemas."_

---------------------

Kari shakes hand with a Digimon. "And that's how Japanese Democracy works for you. I'm Kari Kamiya for **FOX News**."

* * *

In the streets of Tokyo, Jonouchi Katsuya was being interviewed.

"Ok, who gives a crap of politics," said Jonouchi. "F--k the politicians!"

**[This Character Voted!]**

* * *

Shikamaru, Kiba, Naruto and Neji were wearing yellow facepaint with red spots on their cheeks and Pikachu ears...

"You're watching the Naruto News Show Election Coverage live and exclusive," Shikachu said. Shikachu looks at the others. "Guys, what do you think would Former President Goku do now that the country he used to run is being led by a former Pokémon Trainer? What's his next step?"

Naruchu sits up. "Well, Shikamaru. The first thing he needs to do is to move out of his Presidential House in Tokyo." Naruchu picks up a sheet of paper. "But I got some new figures on the Senate Chamber. Neji, could you bring up your CGI on the Senate Chamber?"

Nejichu taps some keys on his laptop. "Certainly."

* * *

**[Nejichu's CGI of the Senate Chamber]**

_Nejichu: "Now this is the chamber on the current figures."_

In the Senate Chamber, a bunch of figures are sitting on their chairs.

_Nejichu: "And of course, this is the Senate Chamber if everyone can't hold their punches, like they do in Taiwan..."_

The CGI figures on opposite sides of the Senate Chamber went into an all-out fist fight.

* * *

Sasuke, Shikamaru, Naruto and Kiba are now sitting at the news desk, no longer wearing their makeup...

"Well, that's all we have for now from the Tokyo Election Tally Room," said Shikamaru. "Japan has finally given their farewell to their outgoing President by kicking Son Goku out of his office now that his time is up. Goku wished that he could have stayed a bit longer because he has realized that Ash Ketchum is worst..."

"So to end this fanfic, we leave you guys with this final tribute to the outgoing President," said Naruto. "Until next time...**Gotta Catch 'Em All**."

Neji was playing at a piano, with his cousin, Hinata, on Bass Guitar and his other cousin, Hanabi, on drums.

Neji: _I want to be the very best, like no one ever was,  
To catch them is my real test, to train them is my cause,  
I will travel across the land, Searching far and wide,  
Each Pokémon, to understand, the power that's inside..._

**Tribute: President Goku waves at his supporters at a press conference.**

Background Vocals: _Pokémon, gotta catch 'em all!_

Neji: _It's you and me,  
I know it's my destiny!_

BG vocals: _Pokémon!_

Neji: _Oh, you're my best friend,  
In a world we must defend,_

BG Vocals: _Pokémon, gotta catch 'em all!_

Neji: _A heart so true,  
Our courage will pull us through,  
You teach me and I teach you,_

All: _Pokémon!  
Gotta catch 'em all!_

Neji: _Gotta catch 'em all! Yeah._

**President Goku walks through the many cities in Japan and the World...**

Neji: _Every challenge along the way, with courage I will face,  
I will battle everyday, to claim my rightful place,  
Come with me the time is right, there's no better team, arm and arm,  
We'll win the fight, it's always our dream..._

BG Vocals: _Pokémon, gotta catch 'em all!_

Neji: _It's you and me,  
I know it's my destiny!_

BG Vocals: _Pokémon!_

Neji: _Oh, you're my best friend,  
In a world we must defend,_

**Vegeta smirks as Goku trips over some stairs...**

BG Vocals: _Pokémon, gotta catch 'em all!_

Neji: _A heart so true,  
Our courage will pull us through,  
You teach me and I teach you!_

All: _Pokémon!  
Gotta catch 'em all!  
Gotta catch 'em all!_

Naruto joins in the band with a Guitar solo.

_Pokémon, gotta catch 'em all!_

Neji: _It's you and me,  
I know it's my destiny!_

_Pokémon!_

Neji: _Oh, you're my best friend,  
In a world we must defend,_

BG Vocals: _Pokémon, gotta catch 'em all!_

Neji: _A heart so true,  
Our courage will pull us through,  
You teach me and I teach you,_

**Goku nearly trips something on a stage at a press conference.**

All: _Pokémon!  
Gotta catch 'em all!  
Pokémon!_

The song ends.

* * *

A present for every fangirl if they happen to read this far in the fanfic...

Naruto, Sasuke, Kiba, Shikamaru and Neji are walking along a beach, wearing their Shippuden outfits. Only difference this time is that Naruto is wearing only his boxers instead of his orange pants, Neji, Sasuke and Kiba are topless and Shikamaru's vest is open, revealing his bare chest...


End file.
